Indigestable

To the left, to the left. All the models from Sports Illustrated to the left. Okay, so Wolfgang Puck just managed to go from Oscar cuisine royalty to dive in one scary scoop. One of Puck's caterers was diagnosed with the Hepatitis A virus and may have exposed all the models at the Swimsuit edition party. Medical advisers have suggested all patrons be tested even though the likelihood was minimal. Guests also included "Borat" co-star Ken Davitian. Um...anyone else think that Puck just handed out leftovers from the A-grade parties because he knew the models wouldn't eat and the only person left was the naked fat guy from "Borat"?

Bootylicious Hips

My first reaction to listening and watching Beyonce & Shakira together - huh? The song retreads Baby Boy and Naughty Girl from Beyonce and the sexual coys of every Shakira song. Either this song is the most brilliant combination of commerce or a beautiful disaster? (sorry Kelly Clarkson!) The Boy Is Mine this ain't! Which two singing divas have you liked best together so far?

1. Christina Aguilera & Lil' Kim
2. Britney Spears & Madonna
3. Monica & Brandy
4. Gwen Stefani & Eve
5. Mariah Carey & Whitney Houston
6. Kimberley Locke & Clay Aiken

Now, how would you like to hear together? Something tells me that a duet between India.Arie & Alicia Keys would be tight.

Out Of Her League

I didn't care for "Dreamgirls". I thought Jennifer Hudson was good, not God. Still I must say that when it came to last night, J-Hud delivered. Her acceptance speech was the only one that seemed to have - how do I say this gently - umm - not a note card in sight? True she knew it was coming (although I bet she was scared shitless after Eddie Murphy lost and then had 45 minutes till her category), but she truly felt the moment and even gave God props twice! The orchestra helped to remind her not to forget Jennifer Holiday either. But Ms. Hudson became that much more deserving to me by the end of the third hour of the endless show with her song medley. While Beyonce seemed like she was there to kill her and prove a point, and the underrated Akina Rose was smashing - Hudson was truly in another league.

So with that, I accept her win for "Dreamgirls". Now, someone explain to me her little sweater?

The Capeman Cometh

Andre Leon Talley was out of his fur last night when interviewing star arrivals at the Oscars. Declaring Jennifer Hudson the "People's Princess" was almost enough to make anyone turn off the show for good. Rumor has it that at a certain afterparty, Mr. Leon literally crashed into J-Hud's on-screen rival Beyonce who got knocked right into Papa Knowles. It's a family affair indeed!

Ready For A Long Nap?

The Oscars are coming! But hold on, all the acting trophies in the last hour? Six musical performances with a double dose of Beyonce and almost 30 minutes screentime for "Dreamgirls"? Well, the winners list better have some surprises and I want to hear Gore announce his candidacy for President during his acceptance speech for "An Inconvenient Truth"!

Beyonce In For The Books

Beyonce is officially the Guniess Book Of Records. This woman declared on Ellen that she wants to retire/cut back by the time she's 30. My money is that she won't make it till then. In an attempt to capitalize on every ounce of her body/life, Beyonce has sold herself to everyone/everything. My question to her, aren't you sick of yourself? She endorses over 50 products, is partners with her mother in a clothing line, has 14 deals with her man Jay-Z in the works, recorded a Spanish album of her past work, created music videos for all the songs on her B'Day album and she also happens to star in the most Oscar nominated film.

Sure she didn't get any acclaim for her work and the Oscars chose not to recognize her contribution in the songwriting process for her single "Listen" (which by the way has 4 different videos!)

But should someone who is only 26 be rewarded just for producing the most output of anyone? I'm sure there is an award of merit there. But quality and quantity are two different arts.

Beyonce has won 10 Grammys. That's ten more than Queen, Beach Boys, The Doors, etc.
Beyonce is the only artist with 3 or more #1 hits lasting 10 weeks or long. That's more than Mariah, Madonna or Michael.
Beyonce is the only musician/non model to be handed the cover for Sport Illustrated Swimsuit Edition. That's more than EVERY FRICKIN' MODEL OUT THERE!

Not sure what's left for her to conquer. She only has a few years left at the rate she's going. Here's to hoping that rather than achieving maximum overexposure ever by any artist, she puts some of this energy towards something meaningful.